Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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