My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
