Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
