real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
