No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
