ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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