We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
