you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
how does that bad decision feel?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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