thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
