I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
