i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
