i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sorry about my life...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
