His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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