WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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