Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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