I just pynch a tree in the face
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i think my mom watched the whole time
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
