She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
