don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
