you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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