So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
