Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
