sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
