11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
