Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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