But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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