Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
