weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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