we're blogging at a bar
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
