I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
