I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
