I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
