I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
