just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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