Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
