I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
