just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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