Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
