I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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