He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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