apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
