he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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