Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
