My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Blood and glitter go together right?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
