I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
