what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
