And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
