Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
