so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
