Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
What drink are we having for lunch?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
