am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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