I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
